I swept the floor the other day, there was more food on the floor than there was in my cupboard. That’s reality for me.
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When you think about how life can be confusing for kids, just think how quickly life can change for them. I’m thinking about three specific Saturdays that happened this month in my 8 year olds life.
It’s Saturday November 14, 7:45 am. Matthew is out on the field with his soccer team warming up before just another soccer game. My husband and I are cuddled up on our chairs on the sidelines with our hot chocolate and coffee and me with my knitting, him with his cell phone! We could just feel the beauty of the day. It was the magic hour of light. The temperature was perfect, not hot, not cold. And we commented to each other how great it felt to be out, to relax, to actually take in the moment, to see & be in the day!
The game starts. Matthew as he always does is testing his way on the field. Who can he beat? Who can he outrun? Which moves work best? After about 5 minutes on the field he gets his chance, he has a breakaway with the ball and he’s running full out toward the other team’s goal. And there’s no doubt, in just seconds, it’ll be him & the keeper! But suddenly from each side two kids from the other team are running straight at him. They hit him at the same time. Fractions of a second, yet in slow motion, I see Matthew rise into the air and fall like a tree on his head. At the moment of impact one of the kids ran over the back of his hand cleating him.
I’ve been a soccer mom for 15+ years. Never panic, this is part of the game. Great fall! My husband whose mom was in bad health at a hospital 2 states away was on the phone getting an update from his brother in law. He looked over at me and said, “he hit his head.” Matthew was still on the ground. They stopped play while the coach went out and drug him back to the sidelines. I mosied over to check on him. He was devastated about his hand. I took him back to my chair and sat him on my lap. He was uncomfortable, wiggly, “I can’t see,” he said. “What do you mean you can’t see?” “I can’t see.” By now other moms were gathering around. “I’m going to pass out.” I laid Matthew on the ground and put his knees up. I thought about his 2 open heart surgeries and multiple cardiac caths and started to worry if one thing could affect the other. One of the parents called an ambulance.
They were there in seconds it seemed. Now they’re testing out an 8 year old. They jabbed a finger in the back of his neck and asked if it hurt! Yes he says. So now they strap him to a gurney. And now I can tell he’s starting to freak out. So Jim & I are telling him. You are really ok Matthew they just want to check you out and this is how they do it. I rode in the ambulance with him & Jim followed. You answer millions of questions and fill out piles of papers. Nobody offers any information!
At the hospital, people come and go. It takes a long time. The doctor comes. Matthew’s absolutely fine.
Net net. Don’t send your kid to soccer without a little breakfast first. When the kid cleated his hand, the pain made him dizzy. Low blood sugar. Why do parents have to think of everything?
Now it’s Saturday November 21. Jim & I & Matthew & Samantha are going to the Heart Ball. It’s the 2nd biggest event every year in Phoenix. It makes millions of dollars for the heart association. We are not even close to that class, we would never be able to go. But my husband knows people at the heart association who know about our two kids and all their open heart surgeries and so because it’s the 50th year, they decided to do something different and they invited the 4 of us to attend. The first time any kids were invited!
I shopped for a dress for Samantha who swore she’d wear it again for her 8th grade graduation! We rented tuxes for both boys. It was nip & tuck whether we’d really get there or not. The night before, Jim got the call that his mom probably wouldn’t make it through the night. But when morning came, she bounced back, was watching football and griping about the bad quarterbacking going on!
So we dressed up and set out for the best location in town, the Phoenician. We got our picture taken and then helped out greeting people who had contributed and supported the heart association by attending. They wanted to show that with increased technology they were saving lives. And we had two lives that had been saved...Samantha’s & Matthew’s. And this was an opportunity for us to say thank you. We enjoyed a lovely dinner and the kids got out and danced. Witness the miracle of survival.
From gurney ride to heart ball!
Now it’s Saturday November 28. Our car is stuffed full of our 5 kids and Jim & I. Jim is driving and the rest of us are keeping occupied with all our “things to do”. We are on the 12 hour drive home from Grandma’s funeral in Trinidad CO.
None of us believed it. Jim’s mom was 92 and though she wasn’t sprinting around anymore, none of us ever remembered her sprinting anyway! She was totally involved in all the lives around her. Mainly her 4 kids. Her 16 grandchildren. Her 20 great grandchildren. She knew what everybody was doing, she never missed a birthday, never missed a beat. She loved everybody. Nobody in her family was ever wrong! She was able to successfully lure everyone home to Trinidad every Labor Day weekend and loved the noise & activity that buzzed around her.
Television was her constant companion. Her favorites: The Price is Right, Wheel of Fortune & Deal or No Deal. And anything football, especially the Broncos. She saw more plays than my husband. She’d call every time something good happened. She loved to sing and would often sing to her kids over the phone and they would sing back to her. One of her favorites was “You are my Sunshine”. But she had many more! Last Labor Day all the kids sang and performed “Sweet Caroline” another of her favorites to her.
Grandma’s going along & going along until one day she feels weak. Instead of going to the doctor they decide on taking her to the hospital. Now it may be that living alone is probably not the best for her. What to do? The family talks and figures it out. But now that’s not enough, she’s not well enough for that, she’ll need more care. But she’s not well enough yet for that. She’s not going to leave the hospital. 12 days later her spirit departs. She’s with the Lord. She’s reunited with her husband who she’s spent the last 30 years missing.
At 92 you know you have more years behind you than ahead of you. It should be easier to lose a loved one who’s had a long life. The problem is they’ve been in your life so much longer. You’re that much closer. You have all of these experiences. Daily conversations. They are the rock you lean against. It’s never easy to lose a mother!
Death. The kids have seen it. Many of their friends have lost parents. They’ve been there to try and help, give them a lift. So it wasn’t entirely new. What was different was they were a part of all the ceremony, the funeral home with open casket, the rosary, the funeral service where their dad did the eulogy, the burial. They were all there, they all took part and they all handled it with the reverence and dignity that was so well deserved. And from youngest to oldest they did it.
So we’re on the long days drive home with our memories.
From gurney ride to heart ball to the funeral ride home. Three consecutive Saturdays in the life of an 8 year old.
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