It’s mother’s day week and nobody in my family is into it but me! Maybe they’re waiting to surprise me on Sunday like “oh wow I didn’t know it was Mother’s Day!”
Now why is that? As a mom of 5 in the active stages of motherhood, one day of celebration (if you can call it that) just doesn’t seem like enough.
What’s wrong with Mother’s Day? That’s easy! Dad has to get it right! That’s a gamble! He basically has to read our mind and determine what it is we expect from that day! Even if he gets it right one year, chances are it’ll be a long time before he gets it right again. And when you’re mothering all of the day and most of the night to toddlers and babies, fat chance of them shopping for the gift of your dreams. Or planning the big day you’ve been looking forward to. Fat chance of really any other form of gratitude coming from them. And there’s really a huge, gigantic, enormous chance of you working your butt off on Mother’s Day catering to them!
And who says your husband shouldn’t cater to you because you’re not HIS mom? You are the mother of his kids and I think that’s enough! I think that makes you top mom!
The problem with Mother’s Day is that dad is in charge. Now what does dad plan? Other than things for mom to do? Isn’t it always mom that plans the vacations, the sporting events, the dinners out, the dinners in, parties, gatherings, get togethers... anything involving more than one person being in one place at the same time.
And being humble or feeling undeserving (not really) of attention, we moms stand back and wait to see what wondrous thing our family plans to surprise, amaze & delight us with.
Big, huge, gargantuan mistake. We gotta take back our day. Love it. Enjoy it. Revel in it. Hey we’re moms, we gave birth to these bundles of joy that don’t clean their bedrooms. We did the work, we do the work everyday to raise them, teach them, direct and cherish them. And even when they’re grown and go away and do their own thing and live their own lives and think you haven’t ever done a thing for them. They still have your constant love and care and concern. Even if they never ask you for a shred of advice, you bite your lip and share all you know with them in the corner of your mind. When a child grows up in your jurisdiction, they may reject you, but you never reject them, they are just as needy (just in other ways) as that newborn or teenager you sacrificed for and adored.
And see that’s why that one day of recognition means so much. Our lives more than any other has been unalterably changed when our children come in our lives. No matter how old they get and how far away they move, they are still our top concern. We look forward to them graduating, moving out and moving on, and they do...but we don’t. The investment we’ve made in those kids continues. You don’t know that (really) until you let them go.
So back to Mother’s Day. How do kids learn? From example! So if they’re watching Dad plan for Mother’s Day, what does that mean for their future? Maybe it’s time we moms got involved. Maybe we should plan our day like we’d like it! Put it together the way we want to spend it. Now that makes sense!
And the way I look at it, is you gotta start early. One short day to eat, get your back rubs and foot rubs and rooms cleaned just goes way too fast. Cause you know when you drop down into bed on Mother’s Day, it’s over for another year. So I’m asking for my back rubs early while they’re working up to the big day. So far, it’s not working, but it’s got me thinking. I can do a little something for myself each day, make it special, take better care of myself. Get something I’ve been wanting. Monday I bought a new pair of tennis shoes (it’s been 5 years!)
Tuesday netted me a manicure, pedicure.
Wednesday, maybe a new purse before the handle on the one I have falls off completely.
Thursday new front tires.
Friday...a good housecleaning.
Saturday...a long workout, a good book and dinner out with my hubby.
And Sunday, my big gift from all (which actually is a really big one this year), church, breakfast someplace where we’d never otherwise go and dinner, hmm, maybe bratwurst on the grill and snuggling back up at home would complete the week!!!
Dad’s not always a failure at making Mother’s Day great. But his success in making us happy has everything to do with our attitude & expectations. We maybe need to help a little bit with that!
PS. I can’t say I’m the best Father’s Day planner. I got my husband luggage one year and wine glasses another. None of which he appreciated or enjoyed. He’s actually already shopping for his Father’s Day gift!
Another good thought to the week would be to try to make somebody else’s Mother’s Day special, even if she’s not your own mom. There’s still time left for that!
Now take the time and do it right! You do for everything else! Happy Mother’s Day!
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