I have the TV on today and it’s making me a little bit crazy! We’re in the aftermath of the tragic shooting in Tucson. Just a shocking, horrific moment that will forever be part of our memory, our hearts and our history. I’m not going to talk about the event, because it’s being covered by every news organization everywhere. And that’s kind of what’s annoying to me.
Go back a lot of years to a very young adult me. I’m working in the promotion department of a news oriented local station. We’re #1 in the market and well respected in the community. I’m assigned to promoting news among other things. And thus begins my question as to what constitutes news. I still don’t know the answer to that question. My opinion is that news should be more completely rounded to cover triumph as well as tragedy. I’ve always felt that stations are happy to focus on the worst stories and ignore the best.
I remember the first of thousands of times I was approached by the news department to produce a proof of performance spot for, say, a murder they covered the day before. The belief from the news department was that they had better coverage than any other station. I set my 22 year old heels in the ground and with all the arrogance of my age and exalted position said no. I am not going to take advantage of somebody’s tragedy to “sell” our competence.
Marching back to my office, I’m met by my boss who calmly says, “You gotta do it.” Fortunately in those days I was allowed to rant and rave about the travesty of it. My boss heard from me, the news producers heard from me, the news director got a double dose from me. And we reached a compromise. I could at least write it the way I wanted to write it. I turned the braggadoccia into a message of comfort, ran it as little as I could and tossed it after it ran it’s short course.
I remember being on a business trip in Chicago and waking up to the radio alarm tuned to news. It totally freaked me out. I was afraid to get out of bed. What kind of city is this? Murders, fires, car chases, madness & mayhem. No music now...we gotta prepare you for your day! One of those memories (feelings) like it happened yesterday, still so very vivid.
I’ve always been bothered when you hear on a newscast, “Good morning everybody, and now let’s join reporter X on the scene of the murder. Good morning X.” “Good morning...we’re here...” C’mon it’s not a good morning. Come up with another line! Quit acting so happy just because you’ve got a good tragedy to bring me!
Goodness and badness are both a part of life. While the badness always makes me gasp and wonder, I think it’s the goodness that gives me guidance and ideas. Or should I take my guidance and get ideas from all the badness that’s reported?
While yes, as a mom, and a curious, wondering person, I do wonder about the 22 year old killer in Tucson. Who are his parents? Couldn’t they see any signs, signals, inappropriate attitudes? Did they love him, pay attention to him? How did he get like this? Surely if other people saw trouble, they must have. Did they not care?
Okay, I can look around on the internet if I really need within myself to research this. I do not need his horrifying photo popped up on every channel on every TV screen all day long. As though he’s a role model to follow. You know there are people out there who will idolize him, look up to him and want to imitate him. You know there are people out there who would just like to be famous like him. They may not be bad people, but they want their day in the limelight.
Why can’t we give the limelight to good people? To 22 year olds who are achieving, leading, doing the right thing. I know they’re out there! I will find them for you. Why are these people not interesting to us? Why are they, in fact, boring? Why when we find people like this, do we put them on the air and try to ruin them or make them look bad?
You know this happens. It makes me crazy. Why do we support this? We let it happen and encourage it to happen by our interest and lack of interest. Why isn’t good, smart, able...interesting and gripping and something we want to emulate?
There’s another big story in the news about a mom who wrote an essay for the Wall Street Journal called “Why Chinese Mothers are Superior”. It’s gone very viral. I read the article, but believe it or not, I haven’t read a single comment. While I’m not the same kind of mom she is, nor will I ever be, I agree with her line of thinking for the most part. And the reason I agree is because it’s very clear to me that she loves and gives love to her children, with the strictness comes love, love that they can see. They also have her full attention. These are things kids need. While they need to learn how to make decisions, they should not make every decision for themselves. They are too young, they know nothing!!! Kids should not be in control. That’s another reason why moms are so important. If kids could raise themselves, who would need a mom!?
I saw the mom who wrote this essay on a morning show today. She was smart and articulate and caring, she sure seemed real to me. While my parenting doesn’t mirror her style, I can’t say she was wrong, yet she was being interviewed in a negative, badgering way. She was being forced to defend her point of view rather than explaining it.
So essentially all morning long I’m looking at this 22 year old killer in Tucson, his terrifying picture and thinking how did this happen. I hear the TV personalities basically wondering the same thing. And then in the next news segment one of those people is attacking a mom for what she (and perhaps others) thought were too extreme measures in trying to raise good children.
Why did they try to tear a mom who cares apart? Her kids are good. They are successful. It’s working. And then, though they don’t mean to, they glorify the kid who’s a killer. Do you see that? Do you think about it? Does it make sense?
What does a good kid look like? I fear we only see them if they are in the midst of a tragic moment. For me, that’s not enough. Maybe I need to watch more news. Maybe I need to turn it off!
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