MomTime TV

Have you ever had the gut feeling that you needed more time for yourself but ignored it?
Have you ever reached for a candy bar or coffee and heard a little voice in your head that said, you don’t need this right now – but indulge anyway?
Have you ever gone to sleep vowing that you were going to exercise the next day – only to find that you come up with every excuse not follow through?
If you have ever been around a tween or teenager, you have probably heard this announcement, at least once, if not several times:
“You are not the boss of me! You can’t tell me what to do!”
Tweens and teenagers often determine that there is only so much guidance and direction that they are willing to listen to. But too often, this affirmation or “declaration of independence” takes on more power than we think it will.

For some of us, it is this point in our life that we stop listening to everyone tells us what to do – including OURSELVES.

There, I said it.

Some of you reading this don’t have a clue what I am talking about because you always listen to your inner wisdom and stay on the straight and narrow. (Yes, there are a few saints out there.)

Others will take offense to my unearthing of what’s keeping you stuck and will simply stop reading this blog.

And then, there is you and me. We are curious about the very idea I am suggesting. Could we really have made a decision all those years ago and are now paying for it – without even being conscious of its lasting and powerful impact?

The answer is YES.

By the way, here is where you’ll want to notice that I don’t fall into the “saint” category.

Many of you have heard me talk about my caffeine addiction. For as long as I can remember, ice tea, coffee or chocolate has been my pacifier – my numbing agent.

It is the young 14 year old that is still living inside me that says, “To heck with what you think is good for me! I am going to do things my way!” Can’t you just see her? (That is actually her, at the top of the page.)

It’s true.

There are times in my life that the 44 year old me takes a back seat to the tween and teenager of yesterday.

You can imagine how reckless this becomes when I am parenting Grady (14) and Madison (12) from this position! Eh Gad!

Here’s the great news…

Now that I have discovered who’s been in charge over my 2nd and 3rd cup of coffee. I can have a conversation with her and find out what she really needs.

Most of the time, she just wants to be cut a little slack. She wants to sit down and relax. She’s tired of paying bills and cleaning house. She wants 15 minutes of stillness and a reminder that she is really “a good kid”.

Sometimes, she is out of whack nutritionally. She says she wants coffee to keep her “up”; but, if I really listen to her, she is really asking for a glass of water and some veggies and protein.

Then, there are the times that she is avoiding a certain feeling or task that needs to be done. She’s afraid to feel pain and uncertainty or afraid that she’ll screw up.

The key is to listen to what she has to say – on a deeper level and to give her what she really wants.

Rarely is that truly another cup of coffee or 2nd bag of dark chocolate peanut M&M’s.

In all cases, the 14 year old in me wants acceptance and reassurance that whatever she is experiencing is temporary and that she’s ok – just the way she is.

In my work as an Integrative Coach Professional™, I help people discover where they get stuck and stop listening to their wise self. Is it always a tween or teenager that takes over and tries to run the show? No, this is just one of my personal examples. Everyone has their unique story and experiences.

During our coaching relationship, my clients make amends with and find acceptance for these wounded parts of themselves whomever and wherever they may be hiding – it is through acceptance that we are released from the bondage to our past.

I wouldn’t be a very good coach if I didn’t do the same for myself, now would I?

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